Bouts of Insomnia
Updated: Jul 6, 2019
I couldn’t sleep last night. For anybody who is currently suffering from any sort of insomnia, whether it be constant, or just in bouts like mine, I feel for you. 2 am is just no time at all to reflect on your major life purpose, passions, and motivations. It’s especially not a good time to ask google anything about them either. Said google searches last night included but were not limited to:
What makes a poem bad, why don’t I like poetry, I don’t like poetry but I still write it, and what is poetry, who owns it, why am I obsessed with the notion of ownership?
I didn’t get any answers, but I read a lot of random people’s opinions that ultimately have as much weight as I’m willing to give them. At the end of it all, I was inspired to write a “do not” poem myself, which I have seemed to quite enjoy reading lately. From what I gather it’s more of a list of what you are doing that you don’t want to be doing, and it’s kind of fun. In the end, it made me realize some things and isn’t that what it’s all about? Oh wait, there is no answer to that is there? Fuck this is frustrating, anyway, here’s what helped me instead of counting sheep…
Tips for Sleep
Do not remind yourself of other peoples love and life and how they live or other people’s run-down apartments full of mold and pain and sadness. If you do, you may just spend most nights awake clenching your jaw and kicking the cat to a nature sounds app thinking about how you can’t change THEM or IT or YOU or really all the things that are keeping you from sleeping.
Do not compare yourself to LeBron James who you just found out is younger than you when it feels like he has been a basketball star for like 20 years, or to the people who have links to attach to the poems on their websites because what they say makes sense against your confused and depressed non stanzas. If you do, you just might spend the rest of your life trying to write the wrong story or taking up basketball when you only played horse like five times in middle school and didn’t really care for it.
Do not fall in love with strangers you’ve never met or talked to, and especially not with men you meet on dating apps after a very short period like a month. It’s OK to think that you love them but only if you realize it’s not them you fell in love with but only the parts of yourself that you think you see in them. If you do, you just might end up writing poems about them long after they are gone or thinking that love isn’t real when it is only that it doesn’t come in the form of the distinguished slightly graying man that does yoga and writes while playing the guitar.